| Hugsome: |
You know, Pluperfect, I'm beginning to wonder if we'll ever get off of this horrible island. |
| Pluperfect: |
Well to be fair, it's not actually an island, is it? I mean, by all rights, it's a peninsula. |
| Hugsome: |
Oh don't be ridiculous, Pluperfect. Of course it's an island! When that nasty wretch Evil Lester McGee brought us here, he clearly stated that we would meet our doom here on Teddy Bear Island. |
| Pluperfect: |
Yes, I remember that he said that. And I thought it was strange even then, because I could see the isthmus from the chopper before we landed here. |
| Hugsome: |
Good grief! Who are you anyway? Peninsula? Isthmus? You sound like some sort of geographer, all of a sudden! |
| Mr. Greensleeves: |
Sakes alive, young Hugsome! What is all of this commotion about? I could hear you shouting clear from the other side of the delta! |
| Hugsome: |
The delta? There is no delta on this island! |
| Mr. Greensleeves: |
Well of course there is, my good friend. The tides formed a number of deltas along this side of the cape long before we ever got here. |
| Hugsome: |
Oh, so it's a cape now, is it? |
| Mr. Greensleeves: |
Yes sirree bob! |
| Pluperfect: |
Well, I don't mean to prolong the quarrel here, but it isn't. |
| Mr. Greensleeves: |
It isn't? |
| Pluperfect: |
No sirree. It's a peninsula. |
| Ragsy: |
There you all are, my hearty companions! I was looking high and low for you, but apparently I was on the wrong side of the cove! |
| Pluperfect: |
Ah, hello Ragsy. What perfect timing! I was just explaining to Hugsome and Mr. Greensleeves that, even though this is called Teddy Bear Island, it is in fact a peninsula. Since you are our resident geomorphologist, won't you help me explain the situation to them? |
| Ragsy: |
Actually, I have reason to believe that all three of you are correct. Pluperfect rightly surmises that this is a peninsula. I have confirmed it during my expeditions over the past few weeks. Here, I found this canister of lollipops washed ashore just a few days ago. |
| Mr. Greensleeves: |
Lollipops! We're saved! |
| Hugsome: |
if this is a peninsula, how can it also be an island, Ragsy? |
| Ragsy: |
Well, it appears that this peninsula was at one time an archipelago that, over time, became connected to one another by a series of isthmuses. |
| Pluperfect: |
Isthmi? |
| Ragsy: |
Perhaps. It seems likely that this area was named Teddy Bear Island at a time when this actually was an island, and that the name has stuck even to this day. |
| Hugsome: |
It's all beginning to make sense to me now. So when Evil Lester McGee wanted to take us to our certain doom, he instantly thought of Teddy Bear Island! |
| Mr. Greensleeves: |
If only he had known that we are not actually teddy bears, and that this is not actually an island. |
| Pluperfect: |
That brings up another interesting point, Mr. Greensleeves. As far as I can tell, you are the only one among us that is not actually a teddy bear. What are you really? |
| Mr. Greensleeves: |
Well, I'm really a gazelle. A beautiful, glorious gazelle, surrounded by my teddy bear companions on this not-island. |
| Ragsy: |
Nazi scientist. |
| Hugsome: |
I thought it was a peninsula. |
| Ragsy: |
No… well, yes… I didn't mean to say that we are all currently living on a Nazi scientist. What I was trying to say is that I also am not a teddy bear; I am in fact an old-style Nazi scientist who specializes in geomorphology. I must admit, I was under the impression that none of us were actual teddy bears. |
| Pluperfect: |
Really? Am I the only actual teddy bear here on this archipelago-turned-peninsula? I must admit that this is most ironic; I have the least teddy bear-ish name of us all, and yet I am the most teddy bear-ish fellow among us. |
| Hugsome: |
I'm a real teddy bear. |
| Ragsy: |
No you're not! |
| Hugsome: |
Shut up, you Nazi scientist in teddy bear's clothing! |
| Ragsy: |
But you're not a teddy bear! You're not, you're not, you're not! |
| Mr. Greensleeves: |
Then what is he, Dr. Ragsy? |
| Ragsy: |
Professor Ragsy. |
| Mr. Greensleeves: |
Where? |
| Ragsy: |
Here. Me. I'm Professor Ragsy, from the University of Snuggles in Cottoncandyland. And it is my educated opinion that Hugsome is, in fact, a turtle. |
| Hugsome: |
Wrong again, Professor Ragsy. I'm a terrapin. |
| Ragsy: |
When was I wrong before? |
| Hugsome: |
Never you mind. I'm Hugsome the terrapin, from the line of King Whiskers III. I am the rightful heir to the throne of Teddy Bear Island, and I order you to crown me as your liege at once. |
| Ragsy: |
Mein fuhrer! |
| Pluperfect: |
Terrapins are turtles. |
| Hugsome: |
What? |
| Pluperfect: |
A terrapin is a type of turtle. It was not incorrect of Dr. Ragsy… |
| Ragsy: |
Professor Ragsy |
| Pluperfect: |
It was not incorrect of Professor Ragsy to refer to you as a turtle, since a terrapin is a kind of turtle. |
| Hugsome: |
Be that as it may, I am your king, and as your king I order you to never refer to me as a turtle again. Also, I order you to give me the canister of lollipops for mine own consumption. |
| Mr. Greensleeves: |
May it ever be so! |
| Hugsome: |
What? |
| Mr. Greensleeves: |
Professor Ragsy has them, your honor. |
| Hugsome: |
Professor Ragsy, anoint me with those lollipops over there, so that I may ever reign as your sovereign terrapin. |
| Mr. Greensleeves: |
Amen. |
| All: |
Hooray! |
