Let us think together, you and I, about the trend toward writing books for odd groups of folks. The Internet For Dummies. The Complete Idiot's Guide to Balancing Your Checkbook. Now that we are targeting dummies and idiots with our literature, where do we go from here? I have an idea or two.

• Spot Welding for Concubines
• Knot Tying for People With Partial Hearing Loss
Excerpt: "I SAID, HOLD THE LOOP WITH YOUR LEFT HAND."
• The Complete Uncle's Guide to Operating Heavy Machinery
• Speed Reading For Those Suffering From Tourette's Syndrome
• Interior Decorating for Fascists
Excerpt: "Next, lets subdue the drapes."
• Needlecraft for Lispers
• Using Public Transportation Effectively for Rhythm Guitarists
• The Wine Aficionado's Guide to Breakdancing
• Stamp Collecting for Bicycle Cops
• The Complete Protestant Monk's Guide to Verb Conjugation
Excerpt: "I have not, I do not, I am not, I shall not...."
• The Bus Boy's Guide to Water Polo
• The Weather Man's Guide to Building Your Own Kitchen Cabinets
Excerpt: "There's an eighty-percent chance of those hinges holding up over the next five days"
• Beekeeping for French Nationals
• The Complete Supporting Actor's Guide to Sharecropping
• The Snake Handler's Guide to Automobile Repair
Excerpt: "Step One: Put down the damnable snake."
• Ham Radio for Wide Receivers
• The Complete Astronaut's Guide to Karate
• Greco-Roman Wrestling for Janitors
• The Smoker's Guide to Writing a Resume